Emotions are a tricky thing, but with some practice, you can learn to get master them.
Number one, realize that some people and companies that make money because they teach you to keep the false belief that you need external validation to feel a certain way.
Marketers spend billions of dollars each year to convince you that you need to drink their beer, eat their Big Macs, wear their Gucci, and drive their Ferraris to feel happy, cool, fashionable, popular, confident, successful and more.
Do you really love your wife? Then buy her a Zales©™ $Six-Months-Salary diamond ring to prove it!
Who gains the most when you need to wear Gucci to feel cool or drive a Ferarri to feel like you’ve “made it”? Psst – the companies selling you things.
Don’t be upset that that’s where your emotional.
This has been yelled at your whole life from the radio, TV, and every magazine.
When you understand that you have the ability to consciously direct your thoughts to create any emtions you want, anytime, you’re not going to make anyone else rich.
But you will be free, once you gain the power of conscious control over your own emotional states.
It takes practice, but you can learn it.
Anchoring what the technique is called, and it’s is seriously explained in detail in Tony Robbins Unlimited Power book, and he also takes you through it directly in his live seminars and he covers it in his Personal Power audio program.
This is nothing unique — experienced actors can do it too.
If an actor can laugh or cry or shout furiously because of something fake, then you can learn to be 100% confident on cue as well – and really experience the genuine emotion.
Anchoring means conditioning a specific emotional state to link to a simple trigger, just like Pavlov conditioned his dog to link getting fed with the sound of bell.
So if I make a certain movement, I automatically surge into this emotional state within a few seconds.
The tennis phenomenon Andre Agassi and basketball player Byron Scott both used emotional anchoring in their athletic careers.
Something really cool I discovered is that once I’ve conditioned an anchor, I don’t even have to physically fire it off. If I just think about making the particular motion, it still works.
Advertisers use anchoring on you all the time. That’s why Pepsi will pay Currently-Attractive-Famous-Woman $2 million to be in a 30-second commercial.
They’re conditioning you to link the emotions you get from hearing a song to whatever they’re selling.
This emotional conditioning works 1000x better than trying to logically argue why you should consume sugar water and chemicals.
Think about the last Coca-Cola commercial you saw.
Was it about the liquid they sell, it’s benefits and negatives, or was it about feeling good with your family, a cute polar bear, or friends having fun?
And it absolutely works: Coke will do $47,000,000,000 in revenue this year alone.
Interesting question: if a totally self-actualizing person accidently showed up to a formal event wearing sweatpants, how would they react?
The answer: They wouldn’t even notice.
That’s the state of total emotional mastery, where no external event can knock you into a negative emotional state.
A mind like water.
The problem isn’t that external events have control over your emotions.
The problem is believing that they do.
Destroying this belief and realizing that you have the innate ability to control how you feel at any given moment, no matter what, is the first step to emotional mastery.
Things that happen have no intrinsic value.
What causes you to feel a certain way is how you think about it.
Different people will interpret the same events differently.
Are you being tortured in a Syrian prison, or just into BDSM? The same things happen to you, but one is hell, the other…expensive.
The event itself has no meaning except the meaning you assign to it, and that act of assigning meaning (consciously or unconsciously) is what causes you to feel a certain way.
Once you get this, you can begin to take conscious control over these assignments.
The phrase “You have six months to live” will affect some people by depressing them into being paralyzed
Other people will see that as a kick in the butt, go out and finally do whatever you wanted to do your whole life.
And the third kind of people see it as a wake up call: time to reevaluate their priorities and make the best possible use of the time they have left by using that time to develop deeper bonds with the people they care about and living more fully.
For some people it’s an ending, but to others it’s a new beginning.
Don’t let the current of your subconcious make the choice — it can be a conscious choice.
Whenever something happens that you would normally think it “makes you depressed,” consciously choose to find and assign a different interpretation that makes you feel powerful instead of powerless.
Instead of failure, it’s a learning experience. (No failure, only feedback)
Instead of loss, focus on your gratitude for what you do have.
Instead of rejection, see it for what it is: a bad fit and a new chance to find the perfect fit.
I interviewed with Sherwin-Williams when I was looking for a job after college. The interviewer asked me what my favorite industrial sealant was, and what year the company was founded. Holy hell, I was glad I didn’t get that callback.
Brian Acton was a programmer. In 2009 he interviewed, and got rejected from working at Twitter, then he tweeted this:
“Got denied by Twitter HQ. That’s ok. Would have been a long commute.”
In 2014 he sold What’s App to Facebook for $19,000,000,000.
If he had gotten hired at Twitter, he would have lost $19,0000,000,000. Not getting a job was the best financial decision he ever made
Just because the media teaches you to feel a certain way in response to a certain event doesn’t mean you have to accept that interpretation.
Psst… the media makes money when you feel bad and then watch TV to cheer yourself up.
Not get the job? Turn it into $19 Billion instead of a defeat:
Go bankrupt (3 times!) and move on to become even richer.
Dumped by your girlfriend, try to kill yourself by drinking furniture polish (“It looked tastier than bleach”), and come back to sell 150 million records.
And on the other hand, you can be a world-famous, and critically acclaimed actor but eat Oxy, Xanax, Hydrocodone, and Valium until you don’t wake up one morning.
For any “negative” event, somebody turned it into an empowering experience.
And for any “positive” event, you can find someone who interpreted it in such a way as to destroy themselves.
Don’t let events subconsciously control you, and use the power of your consciousness to decide your own interpretation of events for the greatest good of all.
When you reach the point of becoming detached from external events, you’re truly free.
This is the state of being detached from external events, knowing that you can exert direct conscious control over your thoughts instead of needing something external to do it for you.
No matter what happens to you, you can still choose to be at peace.
Until next time,