I’ve had plenty of bad relationships, so here’s a few ways I’ve suffered, and what you can learn from it. If I had followed these rules
1) If God or some divine being told you it was OK to leave your relationship, would you feel relieved that you could finally leave?
If your religion is the only reason you’re still together, your relationship is already long dead. Drop the self-torturing beliefs and choose happiness.
Living together physically but not honestly together isn’t going to fool any god anyway, nor is it likely to fool anyone else around you.
Also, I’ve noticed that I’ve used this (unconsciously) as an excuse for why I should stick an unhealthy relationship out.
2) Are you able to get your needs met in the relationship without too much difficulty?
If it takes too much effort to get your needs met, then your relationship is doing you more harm than good. You’ll know the difference between working to get your needs met and working to take care of your partner.
3) Do you genuinely like your partner, and does your partner seem to genuinely like you?
I’ve ‘stuck it out for the kids’, even when I didn’t have kids! We just didn’t belong together and neither one was grown up enough to admit it.
4) Do you feel a unique sexual attraction to your partner?
If there’s no spark, there’s no point in staying. It’s easy to get complacent in relationships and let yourself go, I know I have.
5) Does your partner exhibit any behavior that makes the relationship too difficult for you to stay in, and do you find your partner is either unwilling or incapable of changing?
Smoking is a deal breaker for me. Period. I might be an asshole, but I respect a woman when she takes care of her body.
Tolerating something intolerable will only hurt your self-esteem because you’ll see yourself as stronger in the past than today.
6) Do you and your partner each respect each other as individuals?
In my experience, the relationship is over the first time you roll your eyes at them. The fact that you don’t take their opinions seriously say what you really think about their opinion.
7) Does your partner serve as an important resource for you in a way that you care about?
This sounds greedy at first glance, but if your partner does little to improve your life and you wouldn’t lose anything important to you by leaving, then leave.
You’ll break even by being on your own and gain hugely by finding someone else who is a benefit to you.
8) Does your relationship have the demonstrated capacity for forgiveness?
If you can’t honestly forgive each other’s minor mistakes (not *everything* though), then resentment will slowly replace love.
9) Do you and your partner have fun together?
Underrated, but a relationship that’s no fun is dead. Leave.
10) Do you and your partner have similar goals and dreams for your future together?
If you aren’t planning to spend your future together, something’s terribly wrong.
Here’s the single biggest sign that a relationship is over:
You roll your eyes at them.
It sounds so innocent, but when you do that, you’re saying so much about how little you care about what they have to say.